In the early stages of dating, we tend to overthink every single move we make and try to analyze everything the other person does. That leads us to make rules for ourselves to follow in the hopes of making the best impression, but it turns out, we could be doing the opposite. Relationship experts suggest some of these self-imposed regulations could be lowering the chances of finding a healthy romance.
"Relationships are contextual," explains relationship therapist Kimberly Moffit. "You have to understand the context of your 'situationship' or relationship and use your instincts, as opposed to just always following rules."
These are some common dating “don’ts” that experts encourage singles to ditch:
- “Don’t text back too soon … or too early” - While there’s no need to drop everything you’re doing to respond ASAP, you also don’t need to pretend you’re busy. If you’re busy and it takes you a few hours to text back, that’s no big deal, just do it when you have time and it feels natural.
- “Don’t date more than one person at a time” - According to celebrity matchmaker and online dating expert Carmelia Ray, there’s no need to cut yourself from other possible love connections if you’re still in the early stage of dating someone new. "It takes a while to get to know somebody, so if you're going to invest all your time in one relationship, and then it doesn't work out, then you're back to ground zero," she says.
- “Don’t compromise on (superficial) standards” - Both experts agree that daters tend to be too strict about the type of person they’re willing to go out with, which leads them to rule out a lot of great options over superficial things like height. Moffit encourages people to be open-minded to see if there’s a spark when they meet in person, which is when you learn more about your attraction to someone than you can from what’s on their dating profile.
- “Don’t bring up politics or religion on the first date” - Topics that can be seen as controversial are often off-limits for early dates, but they can tell you a lot about who someone is. "People do say things like, 'Avoid politics. Avoid business. Avoid religion.’” Moffit says. "The best first dates have a lot of deep conversations. How else are you going to get to know somebody and connect if you can't talk about the things that matter to you?"
Source: USA Today
- With these self-imposed rules, no wonder dating can be such a frustrating experience!
- What rules do you have for yourself when it comes to dating? Think they’re helping?
- What’s your “type?” Have you tried dating outside your type? How did it go?